Miracles DO happen!

Big miracles are really neat, but I think I like the little ones just as well.

We have been praying and fasting about our sons recently. We have had some issues lately with each of them, as every family does and today our prayers were answered, albeit in simple ways, on both accounts!

First, Kaeleb has been struggling with severe separation anxiety. He has always been fine until he got "lost" at a birthday party last month. (He wasn't really lost, but he thought he was.) Since then he has refused to go play with friends and has cried desperately every time I leave him, even with Kwint. He won't go to sleep unless one of us is in his room and screams bloody murder if we try to leave. He has thrown full blown tantrums every school day (and he LOVES preschool-it was totally weird)and refused to go to Primary. I walked past Elder's Quorum to get water for the nursery and I saw Kaeleb's little head in the sea of Elders. What 4 year old would rather sit through EQ than Primary?

We tried everything from threatening to forcing him and things just got worse, especially at school, because I refused to pay 75 bucks a month to have him sit at home, so I was yelling (which is something I NEVER do with my kids), forcing him kicking and screaming into his car seat and dragging him into school where I handed a flailing, screaming child off to his teacher, then I cried all the way home, every day for two weeks.

Kwint had been feeling prompted that we need to honor his agency and let him stay home if he wanted to, with attached consequences. I was being stubborn about it but finally consented. We all sat in time out together (because Kwint and I had been just as naughty as Kaeleb with the whole thing), then we each apologized and said what we would do to make the situation easier. We said we would be calm and offer him choices and he said he would not throw conniptions and try to be more brave.

We told Kaeleb he could choose to go to school where he would have fun, play games, learn, and be with his friends, then come home and have fun, too OR he could choose to stay home but that meant sitting in timeout for the duration of school,and no friends, no tv, no toys for the rest of the day AND he had to work off the debt of the 8.50 dollar a day school fee.

What was his choice? Being the stubborn son of stubborn parents, he chose to stay home on Monday. I calmly and kindly said "Ok, that is your choice. I will get the timeout chair ready." He immediately yelled "NO! I will go to school!" He whimpered a bit when I left him at the door, but that was it. We praised him like CRAZY all day for how brave he was and what a good choice he made.

Today he didn't even put up any sort of fuss. When we got to school his face contorted with fear but he just said "Will you walk me to the door?" I am so proud of him!! It was such a miracle!!

Now, about the Brenster. We love Brennan completely, so when I say this, don't take it wrong. Brenny is a bit mischievous. He loves to play- life is a game to him and it should be fun, fun, fun!! When we say no, he laughs maniacally and does it anyway. Then we pick him up, say no again and remove him from the situation, at which point he yells loudly and hits us or pinches our faces with his razor sharp nails. I don't think he is trying to be naughty and doesn't understand that he is hurting us, he is simply determined to have fun and his will to play overcomes the rational thought of "Hmmm, maybe I should obey."

So, we have prayed and fasted and received many answers, and the results are slow in coming- but today one came! Some of the inspirations have been that he is so filled with joy and we shouldn't squash any of that out of him by yelling "no" in his face all day long. We don't want him to believe that he is bad or that we think he is because of our exasperated tones. So, we try to speak kindly when we say no and teach rather than scold. Like today at lunch, he kept climbing onto the table. Instead of saying "No!! Get down!" from across the room like I usually do, I walked over to the table, picked him up and calmly said "Tables are for eating. Chairs are for sitting. Please sit on your chair." He kept climbing up, but neither of us threw a fit and it just felt better.

That wasn't the miracle though-the miracle happened earlier this morning. He is an early riser so I usually have to shower after he wakes up. If I let him run free he destroys the house. Especially the bathroom. He pulls things out of drawers, throws things in the tub and turns on the water, throws himself in the tub and turns on the water, etc. Sometimes I put him in the tub and shower while he takes a bath (our tub and shower are separate), but then he splashes water all over the floor and throws the tub toys out. So I usually end up putting him in his play yard- which he hates. It feels like no sort of play to him at all. Once I am done I take him out and let him play while I do my hair and make up, but he likes to climb up the tub and onto the counter and into the sink where he puts soap on our toothbrushes, then pulls things out of the medicine cabinets.

The rule is, he can get out and play if he doesn't climb up. So I tell him every day, "I will let you out if you stay down. No, No up. If you go up, I will put you back in here." But every day, what does he do? Climbs up. Then he throws a fit when I put him back in the play yard, as if it were a surprise.

This morning when I got out of the shower he said "Ah wa down." (translation "I want down.") He repeated, "Ah wa down..." then pointed to the counter and said "No, no up. Ah wa down, no, no up." So I took him out and I'll be darned, he didn't even TRY to get up! He played happily on the floor with my bobby pins and shoe polish for a whole half hour!! A miracle!!

Parenting is the hardest job on the planet, hands down. It feels so good to have two little successes in the same day. Sigh....