I can't think of a title, I'm too tired.

This week was a flurry and it was gone. We are so busy and fly from one thing to the next barely remembering to breathe. Building a business is not for the faint of heart. Lately we have been feeling faint of heart. Every Friday at one o' clock we actually see each other again. Kwint is gone from 9-9 every night (except for FHE) and by the end of the week a 9-5 job sounds so alluring.

Every time I do the budget, confusing myself with all the stuff I'm supposed to know about the "books" and never knowing how much money is actually going to show up in those "books" I think a steady paycheck sounds like an inhaler during an asthma attack.

However, we have had so many amazing things happen and we have felt so guided by the hand of the Lord. We know we are doing the right thing, even if it seems or feels like we lost our minds when we decided to start the private practice. We knew it would be hard.... maybe we didn't know how hard, but we knew enough to know now that we don't want to give up yet. In October it will be a year. When we look back over that year at all the answered prayers and all the connections we've "happened" to make, all the seeming coincidences, and how the Spirit has prompted us in all our endeavors we feel so blessed. We really feel like our programs are an extension of the work God wants us to do in building the Kingdom and we feel that He has sustained us and will sustain us and He has been here all along the way.

I have been telling myself that every billionaire has a story like ours (or worse- some start out in a cardboard box or homeless shelter...like the Pursuit of Happyness). So, I look forward to telling our story when we are billionaires (even if it isn't as exciting as Will Smith's character in the movie).

Ah, the Kaeleb-isms are rolling forth in great abundance. Last night we were driving around town with Grandpa and Grandma and he looked over at Kwint with a half-smile- literally- he pulled one corner of his mouth up as far as he could and said "Look Dad! I'm serious and happy at the same time!"

Yesterday we went for a long bike ride with Kwint's parents. It was so fun!! Brennan is finally old enough for the trailer and it had rained Friday night so it was relatively cooler than usual on Saturday morning. It felt so good to be back in nature. We are so ready for fall. It has been a milder summer overall, less in the one-teens and more in the 107-108 range, but that is still hot.

I tried to get this done before the kids woke up but they are up now and Brennan is busy at the printer scanning himself and bonking his head... my blog is done.

Happy Birthday to Kaeleb!!

We celebrated Kaeleb's 4th birthday all weekend. It was delightful. He requested a "knight" party and we worked on it all week. Jaiden helped me out on Wednesday with decorations and shopping. On Friday Kaeleb and Kwint made wooden swords for his friends and painted them silver. I decorated the cake... I am not proud of my cake decorating skills.... though there is a funny story to go with it.
I chose blue and green because they are Kaeleb's two favorite colors. When I finished my attempt at frosting the bricks, windows and the fancy moat, I groaned and said "It looks like a gingerbread house!" Kwint said, "Yeah, it does." I said "Should I go get a new cake mix and grey frosting and start over?" (That was why I did it a day early, I didn' trust myself.) We went back and forth discussing whether or not to scrap it and Kaeleb was sitting on the counter the whole time saying "But I like it! Guys, I like it like that! I don't want a grey cake!"

We ignored him and went on talking until finally he stood up on the counter, raised his hands in the air and yelled "EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN!" We stopped and stared. He said, gesticulating emphatically, "I am the leader of this cake and I like it! We are NOT getting a new one!" So, the cake stayed. We ended up thinking it was pretty cute after all.
These are the swords and knight helmets the boys got to take home. Jaiden came and helped me with the whole party, she was so awesome. We played Pin the Sword on the Knight and Knight, Knight, Dragon. (think duck,duck,goose)
Here they are painting their individual coat of arms on their swords.

We had a blast at the party and Kaeleb got some fun treasures from his friends.

We had a family party on Sunday at the Robinson's. We have a combined party with Sadie every year (hers is the 19th). Kaeleb requested Chicken, noodle, carrot, celery soup as he calls it and Sadie requested chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate chips on the side. Here he is with his favorite present (he got tons of good stuff, by the way).... a light up Light Saber that makes noise!!

Here is a picture of Brennan trying to open Kaeleb's presents.

All in all it was a fabulous weekend. I asked Kaeleb if he had a good birthday and he said "Yes, except for the part when I knocked my head open." (He fell on the corner of the coffee table and cracked his scalp a bit... it was a traumatic moment, but not big enough for stitches.)

We can't believe he is 4! We love our Kaeleb sooooo much. He constantly has us laughing with his Kaeleb-isms.... such as, when he called to thank Grandpa for the Light Saber he said "Do you want me to turn it on so you can hear it?" He turned it on and let Gpa listen. Then when he talked to Nana he was telling her about his new lantern (it's the one thing he REALLY wanted- a mini Coleman camping lantern that has LED lights. It shines white and has a setting for a flare, flashing red lights.) He was all excited and said "Nana! Do you want me to go get it so you can hear how it looks?" He ran and got the lantern and turned it on, saying "Now it's white! Can you hear it? Now it's flashing red, can you hear it?" It was pretty funny.

He is getting really smart, putting things together and analyzing everything. He is excited for preschool in 2 weeks. I think it will be so good for him. He is going to be in the same class with Mikell. She gave him a Prince Caspian mask and a dagger for his birthday. He loves it. He asked me how to use it (like I know) and I said "I think you use it when you get close to bad guys. You probably have to sneak up on them in order to get close enough to use a dagger." He asked, "Do you think Mikell wants me to learn how to sneak up on people and that's why she gave me a dagger?" So, he has been sneaking up on me all day and poking me in the back with his dagger.

Brennan has been trying to dress Kaeleb lately. He picks up a shirt and tries to put it on Kaeleb's head, and he likes to wash him with washcloths in the tub. He keeps us laughing too. When we look at our little guys we feel like the most richly blessed people in the whole world.

Don't tell Mikell

I forgot to tell a funny story about Kaeleb.... We were driving around town last Wednesday and passed by the temple. Kaeleb said, "Mom! My teacher in my little class (Sunbeams. Sharing time is the "big class") showed us a picture of that temple! That's the St. George Temple. It's our temple and it only has one spire." Then he said "I told Mikell I want to marry her in that temple." I said, "Really? What did she say?" His reply, "She didn't say anything. So, I thought to myself, 'I'll just trick her.' I'll trick her into marrying me, Mom." I laughed so hard. I asked him if I could tell Mikell's mom that story and he said "Yes. You can tell Mikell, too. No, wait! DON'T TELL MIKELL!"


Kids....

The Faith of a Child

I don't know how he does it.... Well, actually I do.

At random times Kaeleb decides to pray for rain. Usually it is out of the blue. The other day he was too hot (can't imagine why) and said "Mom, I'm praying for rain. Heavenly Father, please send down the rain. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." I looked around at the clear blue skies and felt the sweat trickle down the back of my neck and thought, "One of these times I am going to have to explain to him that sometimes Heavenly Father says 'no' or 'wait'." So far, I have yet to say those words.

Even in sunny St. George, somehow, every time Kaeleb prays for it, it rains. It is raining right now.

Brennan is now up and running, for real. He's been walking for 3 weeks and it just isn't fast enough. He is definitely his Daddy's son. We are somewhat astounded. He has the cutest run- he usually stops by flopping flat on his face, but he doesn't care. This morning he ran a strip of carpet in our bedroom back and forth about 10 times. Hopefully next week I will have time to make a video.

garden tools and soccer balls

I need a nice, light blog. The last two were heavy for me... So, the kids. Let's talk about the kids. They have a way of brightening up everything.

Kaeleb is quite the funny guy. As you can see, he was bursting with excitement as we toured the Brigham Young Winter home downtown St. George. (You might also notice how happy Bren looks, too.) We had a family outing with Grandpa, Grandma and Aunt Tam's family. We rather enjoyed ourselves, contrary to the picture. Mark Eubank (channel 5 weatherman) and his wife are serving a mission here and Sister Eubank did our tour. It was so fun. We have missed watching him do the forecast, but we like his son too, and I think he looks like Sister Eubank.

Kaeleb is getting excited for his birthday in 2 weeks. We're going to have a knight party. He is going to be one someday, you know. He always tells me what he will do when he is a knight. It is synonymous with being a grown up.

Kaeleb is such a unique person. He is happy and loves to have fun, in fact he has a new laugh which sounds very sinister and he uses it at random times and never fails to make us chuckle. On the other hand he is a very serious thinker and takes things very literally. On Saturday Kwint's Dad came over to borrow some garden tools. They were doing yard work at the vacation house. Kaeleb said "Grandpa, which ones are you going to take?" Grandpa said "Oh, this shovel, a rake, and the Pulaski." Kaeleb thought for a moment and said "Well, I suggest that you use the rake to bring all the weeds into a pile." Grandpa said, "Thank you, I'll take your suggestion." I love it when he talks like a grown up. Except when he uses it against me during discipline times... "Mom, you may not speak to me that way!"

Brennan now prefers walking to crawling. He hasn't crawled for at least a week. I can't believe my little baby is walking. He is also saying a few new words like "go", "kick", and "car". (In Brennanese they sound like "doh", "hick", and cah, cah, cah", respectively.) He has been throwing tantrums already, which is nice. He's only 10 months old, we aren't ready for the terrible twos! Yesterday he climbed into the dishwasher and when I pulled him out he screamed ever-so-loud, shook his hands about wildly, then grabbed my hand and bit me. I was none too happy about that. I hope it's just because he's teething because I really don't want him to be a biter.

He is so funny. He is a super tease and loves to make us laugh. If we laugh at him once he will repeat the funny action over and over and over. He loves to walk into a room, throw his arms up in the air and squeal, grinning with delight. Last week I carried him into the bedroom and he looked at Kwint, then looked at me, then pointed at Kwint and belly laughed. We still aren't sure what he meant by that.

As you will soon see, he will not be satisfied with simple baby steps... he is his daddy's son through and through.



Not only does he play soccer, he dives in the bathtub.

Papa

Today would have been my Dad's 54th birthday. I have been told that the first year is the hardest- the first birthday, anniversary, holidays, etc. I struggled all day to know what I could do to commemorate this day. I thought first of blogging all the things I love about my Dad and why I am grateful to have been his daughter. Second, because my Dad got really into Family History while he was sick, as a birthday present to him, Kwint and I are taking a pile of names to the temple tomorrow to perform sealings for several family members he started the work on and was never able to finish. I think that is what he would ask me for.

So, here is why I am glad Lee McDaniel was (still is, actually, forever) my Dad.
*He always made me laugh
*I always thought I was the favorite child
*He was friendly to anyone and everyone
*He would drop anything to render service to anyone
*He had absolute faith in the Priesthood
*He had a talent for building and made things beautiful
*He loved flowers and gardening
*When he was too sick to work anymore he started making blackberry jam and planted a garden big enough to share with all his neighbors and the local food bank.
*He used to give me "five" every time I walked past him, even if it was 20 times a day
*I always knew and I still know that he loves me
*He always put 100% of himself into any project
*He never called me my real name, always a nickname. As a child it was Princess, as a teenager it was "Tahina"which means "sweetheart" in Hawaiin, or Giner.
*He could rock my babies to sleep better than I could. He used his finger to stroke their foreheads until they were lulled to sleep and he called it his "rubber hammer".
*He loved missionaries
*He loved Family History
*He loved my Mom (still does)

There is more, of course, much more. The great things about my Dad could fill a book, and the love I have for him could fill the whole world. I hope that I can give my boys some of the goodness I gleaned from him. I wish they could have known him longer. Brennan will not remember him, but I hope Kaeleb will. He called Kaeleb "Little Buddy" and loved him so much.

I am so grateful for the sweetness of our last visit together. My parents came for Brennan's blessing, 6 weeks before he died. It felt so good and so peaceful that I actually thought "Maybe he is going to get better- this just feels so right." He was so kind to my mom and talked about how he had learned that the secret to having a good marriage is unconditional love and putting each other first. We had just started the private practice and he was so supportive of Kwint and expressed his confidence that Kwint that would be successful. He told me that I am beautiful. He played cars with Kaeleb and when one set of wheels fell off his little dump truck he super-glued it back together and said "The truck is in the shop." He rocked Brennan to sleep and held him until his strength ran out. He asked my mom to take him and said he wished he could have held him longer.

They stayed an extra day to play. We made Hawaiian Haystacks and had Family Home Evening together. The Spirit was so strong and sweet and we didn't want to say goodnight.

Although we knew his time was short, it was shorter than we thought. We were planning a trip in February, but at Christmas they told us it would be a matter of days and I didn't have time to get there. It was so hard to know that I had already seen him for the last time in mortality and even harder when I talked to him on the phone for the last time. What do you say when you know it will be the last time, except "I love you"?

The last 7 months have been hard and I still miss him so much. I keep waiting for it to get easier, and I guess in some ways it is, but the pain still feels just as deep when I let myself feel it. But, I hope that as the years pass, I can remember him on each birthday with more smiles and less tears.

Walking and Wellness

What a fabulous summer we are having.

First though, we have a walker!!! Brennan is officially ten months old today and is walking. He still prefers to crawl when he is in a hurry (most of the time) but he can walk all the way across the room. He gets so excited while he is walking that he tries to jump and sometimes falls because of it.

Kaeleb is so cute and funny. Tonight he was trying to come out of the bathroom and accidentally turned off the light. He got SO scared and screamed SO loud. He cried for awhile. Later while Kwint was giving him a bath they talked about the experience. He said, "I screamed because it was just so dark, Dad. Like this, see?" He put a washcloth over his eyes and said, "Oh no! I can't see! I can't see!" and rammed himself into the side of the tub. He is always doing little cute antics that make us chuckle.

Kwint went up North for LARP on Thursday and had a great event. The boys and I stayed home because Grandma and Grandpa came down Thursday. Although we missed Kwint, we were not lonesome. They brought Maddi and Romalyn with them so we've had fun with lots of cousins. Jaiden and Maddi spent the night with us on Thursday night, we spent the night with G&G on Friday and Kaeleb spent ALL day shopping with Grandma on Saturday. He was so good he got a toy bow and arrow as a prize.

We have had so much fun. We have played several games of "Kaeleb-style" Monopoly, watched "Happy Feet" 3 times, and eaten at the Pizza/Pasta Factory twice.

Sunday was a big day for us. Kwint received a new calling to be the 2nd Counselor in the Elder's Quorum. He is very grateful for the chance to serve there. He says in a lot of ways he feels like a missionary again and he loves it. The presidency and their wives are really amazing and humble people. There has been a feeling of peace in our family and even though we are crazy busy already we know the Lord will bless us with the increased capacity we need for Kwint to fulfill his calling and for me to support him while also fulfilling my two callings.

We also did a family musical number in both the Junior and Senior primary, so we were all over the place at church.

I have started doing some Life Skills coaching at TurningLeaf and I love it. We have to get a bit crazy to coordinate our schedules so that we don't have to get a babysitter but it is working so far. My official title is "Body Image Improvement Coach."

I haven't blogged about the real story behind the Community Wellness Program Kwint runs at TurningLeaf because it is quite personal, but I am actually the one who developed the program. (Kwint calls me the program developer, sounds so official.) At the time I wasn't trying to develop a program, I was trying to heal from years of eating disordered behaviors and weight management issues, so I made up the program for me, with no idea what would become of it. It took me 9 years to fully develop it through a lot of prayer, scripture study, self-help books, therapy (no, not from Kwint-I had two different women therapists- he was the supportive husband and was actually still in school) and introspection.

As I healed and shared what I learned with Kwint he wanted to use it. He added a lot of therapeutic info and activities and solidified it in a way that it could be used for our program. He has been presenting it in lecture form at a local health spa, in groups at TurningLeaf, and we are working on making it into a seminar. Now I am using it in an individual coaching format.

The reason I'm opening up now is that we wrote a workbook. We are picking up the first copies tomorrow. It was made to be used in conjunction with the lectures and groups, but we are also going to sell them at health clubs, spas, online, and at TurningLeaf. So, if I am opening myself up to the entire community and beyond, I figured I might as well confide in my friends and family who read this blog. Now you all know and I'm glad I got that over with.