I need your help. I am notoriously indecisive and we have a big decision.
Kaeleb, as you know will be turning 5 in August. We have spent the last few months trying to decide whether to send him to Kindergarten or wait another year until he is 6. We prayed and fasted and prayed some more and had decided to wait. I registered him for another year at preschool. It kept gnawing at me and I couldn't find any peace, so I told Kwint I thought the Spirit was prompting me to send him.
So, we decided to send him this fall, I am planning to register him next week at Sunset Elementary, but I STILL don't feel at peace. I think the Lord would support either decision and wants us to choose. I always like it better when He spells things out in the sky for me and gives definite, clear, big answers. I am going bananas with the choice and I am so irritated at myself that I am coming to ask for advice. Kwint is just hanging out, waiting until he has a stronger opinion one way or the other, but I am WAY over thinking it.
Many of you have cast your vote already, I have heard some "send him now"s, some "wait"s. There are many pros and cons for both sides and you are all right. Let me list my reasons for both sides and if you have an opinion, I would love to hear it. We are not looking for anyone to choose for us, but if you were in Kaeleb's boat or have a summer child you sent or didn't send, tell us your story.
Why I want to wait until he's 6:
-He is short (I know it's vain, but it makes a difference to a little boy)He allows himself to be bullied and if he is bigger it may make a difference. When kids are mean he feels confused because he would never act that way.
-Most parents in St. George hold their summer boys back because of the advantage in sports. If we send him now he will be a whole year younger than some of the boys in his class and it doesn't seem fair.
-He has separation anxiety anyway, and maybe another year will help him be more ready to leave Mama for school.
-He has a tendency to wander and get lost (I know there are fences, but school is a big place for a little boy).
-I don't want him to be the last one of all his friends to get his two front teeth, get baptized, get the priesthood, date, drive and go on a mission.
-He tends to be a follower and if all the kids are older and bossier it will make it easier for him to follow.
-If he goes this fall that will put Brennan 4 years behind him in school because Bren's b-day is two weeks after the deadline. (Sept 14) I feel like it will throw off the "family dynamic." I know I am weird.
Why I want to send him when he's 5:
-He is academically ready. He knows all his letters, several sight words and is starting to sound things out. He can count to 100 and add any equation up to the sum of 12. He at least tries to write all the letters and most are at least almost legible.
-He communicates better than most teens. (Of course, that may be true for all 5 year olds...but he is pretty mature verbally.)
-I love and he loves all his friends in his class at preschool and church.
The list for waiting is longer, but the sending reasons are important. How the heck am I supposed to make this choice? It could really change his whole future. (I am also over dramatic, I understand that.)
Either way he will probably be happy as a clam, and either way he could end up blaming us for ruining his childhood. One of Kwint's colleagues, Dean Nixon said to me, "Every other parent has messed up their kid at least a little- they've all got problems- why should your kid be special?"
We all make mistakes with our kids, but ultimately, if we love them wholeheartedly and do our best, they will be just fine. We just need to choose and let it go.
13 comments:
My husband would have a better opinion on the matter than me because 1)He's a boy, 2)He was the youngest in his class (Sept 21) and 3)He was and still is short...I think since he's ready, he's ready. He'll still be short whether you hold him back, he'll still get bullied, whether you hold him back or not, you don't know when his teeth will fall out or grow back in. My nieces didn't fall out until she was 8 so she was waaaaay behind in that category. There are just some things you cannot determine, but you have already determined that academically he is smart enough. And besides, when he graduates he will be only 17 giving him a chance to complete at least a full year of college before he goes on his mission giving him a leg up on all those older kids who will be freshmen when they get back from their missions where he'll have already done a year or more of college...Anyhow, good luck with the fasting and praying. I don't think I'll ever let my first born go to school. The thought makes me cry...
Thanks Liz.
I started Brinley a week before her 5th Birthday. She was ready. The way you post about kaeleb it sounds like he is ready too. He speaks well, and sounds like he is smart. I think it would hold him back if you kept him home for another year. It was hard for me to let Brinley go so young, but it was the best thing for her. Another year in preschool would have bored her. She was pretty bored in school as it was because she was already starting to read. He is smart, I would send him. If he didn't know his colors, alphabet, etc. I would keep him home, but He knows everything Preschool is going to teach him. Usually, I say keep boys home a year, because they are usually behind girls, but in this case he isn't. I would register him. If you decide it is to much after a week or so of school, pull him out, but I bet you anything he will love school, and it is that letting go for mom that is hard. the kids adjust just fine.
p.s. Brinley didn't lose a tooth till she was in 2nd grade and she is the smallest in her class. She is small and I bet she is smaller then a lot of girls in the class behind her. Just how here genes are.
p.s.s. My kids will be four years in school too. Ethan has Nov. birthday. But they are still best friends. Really, I would send him. Ecspecially if he is reading. I can't stress that you don't want him bored in class. Brinley had a hard time in 1st grade because she was ahead of everyone, and would get in trouble for talking, because she wasn't being challenged. REALLY he is ready. Send him. o.k. I will get off the soap box now.
Well, of course you know Kaeleb better than anyone and I know you'll do the very best thing for him. And I can only tell you what my/our experience is, but here it is for whatever it's worth!
I was 4 when I started Kindergarten, and I LOVED being the youngest in my class. When I was little it made me feel smart, and it was awesome to only be 17 and starting college. The only bummer I ever felt about it was that they started me in Primary with the rest of my Kindergarten class, so I ended up repeating Valiant B - while all my friends went on to Merrie Miss. But that was church and not school, and Kaeleb won't have that issue anyway.
For Charlotte, who also has a summer birthday, it never really occurred to me to wait until she was 6 - she's going to be ready, I'm sure of it. I only just recently heard that people do that! Honestly, I think it's a bit of a fad, you know? And I'm not a big proponent of making kids do things before their ready - so, like, if a kid honestly wasn't ready for school at 5, then definitely wait until s/he's 6. But if s/he's ready, all the other stuff will work out.
Here's another thought ... have you asked Kaeleb what he'd like to do? He seems like such a thoughtful - and prayerful! - boy, you might think about asking for his input. Of course, you have to make the final choice, but it is, as you said, his future after all. :)
I don't have any advice to give either way, just that I did like being older than most kids in my grade.
I do want to know what you end up doing and how it works out since I will be in the same boat a few years from now.
Good luck to you, I'm sure whatever your decision is he will be just fine. You have a great kid there.
Something else to think about...if you start him now, he can get a whole year of college in before his mission. I was always a little jealous of the ones that got to experience the dorms and college life while they were 18. I had to wait until I was 21.
Well, I believe you and i have already talked about this issue, so you know my thoughts on the matter. I think at the time I said hold him back. An August B-day makes him lots younger than the others. Plus all the things you said in your list. Especially because he is a boy.
BUT.... you definately do not want him to be bored in school. I am currently in a state of worry about Tracen getting bored at school. His teacher said that acedemically he could skip ahead to 2nd grade next year.... BUT... you have to make sure that emotionally they could handle it. Every kid is different and interacts with other kids differently. A childs interactions socially are almost more important than if they are bringing home top grades.
Here is another thought... also something I will have to do with Tracen... a parent can always find more ways to challenge their child educationally at home, BUT you do not have the control of how they are going to interact with others and the friends they will choose to be with.
Soooo... after all that, I think my point was to look at how Kaeleb is with other kids, independently from mom and dad. Put aside his intelligence for a moment and decide which "age group" he relates best to because those will be his friends... and we all know that friends can make or break a child/person.
Wow- that was long. I should have just sent an e-mail or called you. Hmmm... maybe I still will.
Anyhow, this is a HUGE decision, BUT I am sure you will choose wisely. You guys always do. Love you!!
Psst... here is another thought. You could always start him in Kindergarten this Fall and then if you find it would have been better to wait-- just have him do kindergarten again. No harm done. Dan did Kindergarten twice (once in Europe and once in the states) and I think he turned out pretty darn good..
I guess I should have read the other comments before I made mine. I agree with Liz and Frank, whoever they are.
I love all of your comments and I am thankful for your concern. I think I have the best friends ever.
Evan's birthday is Sept 29. He started kindergarten before he turned 5. He was young and little, and spoiled rotten, but he did really well. If the child is ready and is held back, sometimes they get bored with school, and don't do as well. Others do well with a challenge, and knowing Kaeleb, I would think he is ready. His mind is very mature, even though he is only still 4. I think he will do well.
The decision is yours, and I know you will make the right one. It does get easier as you get more. It was hard to send Vonda and easier to send Jennie. By the time Marian came along, I was ready to celebrate! But then, I was in school myself, and it was less hours for her to be at daycare.
Love Ya
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